Stress Causer or Reliever?: Being In Love

This is a tricky one because it goes both ways. It can relieve your stress or cause it. I am such a sap for love songs, they are the beat that I hear inside my head. Sometime I wish that being in love was like a love song; has a rhythm, beat, lyrics, etc. That it would be mapped out and no surprises. That I knew what was going to happen. But it's not that easy. I have always grown up being a hopeless romantic. The media formed an idea/perspective on what love is and can be. And for as long as I can remember I have always wanted love. Whatever form it took. My favorite shape: heart. My favorite genre of music: love songs. My favorite movies: romantic. Favorite books: romance novels. I can't escape my obsession with love. Luckily for me I have found the nebulous thing that is love and it's in Christian's arms. What it makes me feel is infinite. I never want him to not be there next to me. I never want to look and never find him. Needless to say he has changed my once hopeless romantic life into a potential loving future and I can't ever go back. Before it was just something I wished for when I blew out my birthday candles now it's something I can't live without. If I was to ever not have him, I would probably become a wreck. All life would be removed from my body. No more sparkle in my eye. No more smile on my face. No more step in my walk. No more dreams at night. No more sunshine in the morning. No nothing. But hopefully I don't have to worry about that. I believe Christian and I are going to be together until one of us dies and I'm going to love every second of that time. I love you is an easily thrown around word but when it's said with meaning, you know that there is nothing that person won't do for you and there is nothing I wouldn't do for Christian.

-Saltine BackStabber

Stress Causer #2: My Brain

Fuck My Life. I hate my brain. I hate every little thought it creates. I hate the things it makes me feel. I hate the things it influences me to do. I hate that it conflicts itself and leaves me to sort it out. Don't get me wrong there are things my  brain does that I love; like being smart and good feelings. I hate the fact that it keeps me up at night for hours. I hate that it controls my personality. Something so hectic and unorganized shouldn't be in control of someones life. It's just not fair. I hate that it over analyzes everything. I hate that it turns on itself. I hate that it makes me want to cry over the tiniest things. I hate that it makes me insecure. Sometimes it's like my brain is a totally different person than me. It brings the best and worst out of me, makes me feel bipolar. I hate my brain.

-Saltine BackStabber

Stress Causer #1: Being a Woman

Every girl dreads that one week out of every month, fortunately for guys they don't have to endure what we women have to. To all you men out there, do you have any idea how not fun and exciting having your uterus contract to let blood flow out of you vagina? I think not, well I hope not. It would be scary if you did.
Me personally, am horrible when on my period and I feel guilty afterwards because of how grumpy and well, just mean, I am during that week. But it's not my fault, I am in a lot of pain, have to pop pain killers, get no sleep, and have to change my tampon every 4 hours so I don't bleed through my pants. Clearly I'm under a little bit of stress. Luckily I have an amazing boyfriend that completely understands and deals with me in my less than decent moods. Plus the sex afterwards is totally worth it. Which brings me to the number one reason why I hate being a woman.
Not being able to have sex with Christian. And as you've heard from my last post Christian has a rather nice tool that I very much want. Plus I am also a total sex whore so you know maybe that's not period stress maybe it's withdrawal stress. But if he is my dealer I am getting more than enough my fill and am loving it. If he wasn't around then I do not know what I would do with myself, he lets me slow time down and breath.

-Saltine BackStabber